Melissa hugged me in the doorway，the desperate grasp of someone who had lost hope.She had never seen me.It didn't matter.The hospice(临终关怀所) makes strangers family.

　　Melissa took my wet sweater in the doorway，saying，"I don't see your wings，but I know they are there.You are surely an angle." She invited me in，offered me a cookie and showed me a seat.

　　That day stands out，maybe because Bradley and Melissa are so much like me and my husband.Maybe because I saw my own depressed face in hers.Maybe because of the deep fear that I felt-the fear of losing someone you love so deeply that the world couldn't possibly continue to move around the sun without him or her.

　　When you tell people you're a hospice nurse，the expected comment is always，"Oh I could never do that.I would cry all the time." In truth，those who work in hospice do cry，not every day，but certainly enough.Still，despite the tears shed，there is a real privilege of being at the bedside of the dying.Now I've traded my stethoscope(听诊器) for a laptop，but my hospice experiences never fade away，and what I learned from the dying is important and worth sharing.

　　Don't sweat over small stuff.At the end of your life，everything that is not vitally important-oh，let's say，whether or not your pants are too tight-suddenly seems really unimportant.Ask yourself if what worries you will still worry you in 10 or 20 or 50 years.Answer honestly.

　　Pay attention to pains，aches or symptoms of disease，especially those involving your breasts，internal organs or skin.These things sneak up on you.Many people wish they had faced their fear，seen the doctor earlier and gotten treatment earlier.

　　Money is an illusion.You think you need so much.In the end，you don't really need any of it.Prioritize(优先考虑) people and experiences over possession.

　　The key to a long life？There isn't one.But a 105­year­old woman told me that she lived to be that old because she "didn't take no shit from nobody".The same woman told me that the one piece of advice that she would give to any woman is this："A woman can do any damn thing that a man can do.You don't need no man for nothing."

　　Your body is just a vessel for your soul.Quit looking in the mirror.Quit thinking about your wrinkles，your dress size，etc.Quit worrying about your hair，makeup，or that mole(痣) on your chin (unless it might be cancerous).Quit thinking about any of that shit.It all fades anyway，one way or another.

　　Repair what's broken.Above all else，at the end of people's life，the one regret that every person shares is broken relationships.Whether it's with your parents，your children or your brothers and sisters，if it can be repaired，repair it.At the end，love is everything.

In the hospice there are a lot of tears，and a lot to learn.