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　　Anyone who's ever made room for a big milestone of adult life----a job, a marriage, a move----has likely shoved a friendship to the side. After all, there is no contract locking us to the other person, as in marriage, and there are no blood bonds, as in family. We choose our friends, and our friends choose us. That's a really distinctive attribute of friendships.

　　But modern life can become so busy that people forget to keep choosing each other. That's when friendships fade, and there's reason to believe it's happening more than ever. Loneliness is on the rise, and feeling lonely has been found to increase a person's risk of dying early by 26%----and to be even worse for the body than obesity and air pollution. Loneliness damages health in many ways, particularly because it removes the safety net of social support. "When we perceive our world as threatening, that can be associated with an increase in heart rate and blood pressure."

　　The solution is simple: friendship. It helps protect the brain and body from stress, anxiety and depression. "Being around trusted others, in essence, signals safety and security," says Holt-Lunstad. A study last year found that friendships are especially beneficial later in life. Having supportive friends in old age is a stronger predictor of well-being than family ties ----suggesting that the friends you pick may be at least as important as the family you're born into.

　　Easy as the fix may sound, it can be difficult to keep and make friends as an adult. But research suggests that you only need between four and five close pals. If you've ever had a good one, you know hat you're looking for. "The expectations of friends, once you have a mature understanding of friendship, don't really change across the life course," Rawlins says. "People want their close friends to be someone they can talk to and someone they can depend upon."

If you're trying to fill a dried-up friendship pool, start by looking inward. Think back to how you met some of your very favorite friends. Volunteering on a political campaign or in a favorite spin class? Playing in a band? "Friendships are always about something," says Rawlins. Common passions help people bond at a personal level,