4. Closing down by putting on a short play

To end this period we are going to put on a short play.

Hamlet and the Heckler (a very short play)

Hamlet: To be or not to be...

Heckler: I knew it. I knew he was going to say that.

Hamlet: that is the question...

Heckler: He's going to say the rest of it, too.

Hamlet (to Heckler): Excuse me, do you mind?

Heckler: I didn't know he was going to say THAT.

Hamlet: I'm just trying do my job here.

Heckler: Yeah, but do you have to do it the same way every time?

Hamlet: Well, this IS Shakespeare you know.

Heckler: Ooooo, Shakespeare. Why don't you do Shakespeare with modern language?

Hamlet: Shakespeare wrote it perfect the way it is. We can't change it.

Heckler: Why not? Just change "To be or not to be..." into whatever the hell it means. [pause] By the way, what does it mean?

Hamlet: Well, he's considering suicide. He's considering which might be better, living or dying, being or not being. Changing it would sound stupid, wouldn't it? It wouldn't be memorable.

Heckler: But the audience would understand it, for a change.

Hamlet: But people do understand Shakespeare, at least most of it. And